A while back I wrote that it’s respect not love that conquers all. You can find the blog here: http://kristaesullivan.blogspot.com/2015/02/50-shades-of-this-is-porn.html since then other opinions about the book 50 Shades of Grey emerged but the crux of my short rant remains the same.
A friend wrote to me saying that he agreed with my statement and that it might be a good idea to write about it since it seemed to him that not many people knew what the R word was about. So, what IS respect?
Here’s a simple break down:
R is for recognition. I recognise that the person I’m dealing with is human just like I am and therefore has his or her own challenges.
E is for empathy. One of the most important tools in emotional intelligence. To empathise is to take a moment away from your own life and really listen to someone, to try to feel what they are saying and act accordingly with love and compassion regardless of how well you know that person.
S is for sympathy. Sympathising with someone is similar to empathy but not as deep, a handy tool for brief encounters such as letting a person with just a couple of items go before you in a supermarket queue.
P is for patience. Sometimes we really need to be patient, if someone doesn’t understand a concept or is dead against your views or is whining about a situation they seem stuck in, or is making you late to a meeting etc...patience goes a long way and helps you keep your cool.
E is for encourage. Encourage your friends and family if you feel they are doing something right, lift them up, give them the impetus to go forward.
C is for care. Care for your environment, don’t litter, recycle, give honest advice, go that extra mile, make that call, show someone you care.
T is for treat. Treat others as you would like to be treated, respect their boundaries, ask before doing, don’t insult or use their flaws against them, respect their needs even if you don’t understand them, give them space and be there for them when they are ready.
This list is probably incomplete but I think it gives a good little structure, pretty simple really isn't it, so why do we find ourselves disrespecting others so easily? Why do we dismiss, speak arrogantly, try to be superior, act like know-it-all's and bully? Why do so many people feel entitled to engage in road rage, belittle others and become offensive when we disagree?
Respect is the foundation of healthy human interaction, it is the ABC of successful living. Without it you will be disliked and pushed aside because no one likes a bulldozer no matter how well intended you might be or how much information you might have. Once respect is lost, it's almost impossible to regain (but there's no harm in trying if that person means a lot to you, true friendships can take a few bumps) so think carefully before you act, think about what you want from life and the memory you'd like to leave in people's minds.
Finally, the great thing about practising respect is that it says a lot about you, only people with a good self esteem can respect others with ease. People with a low self esteem are jealous, they do not like to encourage, show care or patience. They are not interested in empathy because they have too many issues to deal with and can only relate to themselves etc etc. At the end of the day respecting others as well as yourself makes YOU feel good.
Please feel free to add any comments.
Bezos,
Krista
